His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
