you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
