Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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