Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
