He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
