just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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