Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
