he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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