you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
