these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
