I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
