I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We're too hungover to prance.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
