i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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