Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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