i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
