Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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