This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
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I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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