im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
