you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
not ubering you a puppy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
