She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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