I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
