I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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