I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
