do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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