Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
