Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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