can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize