I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize