About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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