I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
