Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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