plz talk dirty to me
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
