Just mADE A PArabola og urine
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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