he was CRYING into my vagina
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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