and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
