@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
