Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
