ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
