Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
