you would pick up someone in the library
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
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trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
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The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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