i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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