I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
