if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
