Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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