This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
