You work out of a Hotel?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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