My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
