So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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