i already hear my dad disowning me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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