His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We are two peas in an std pod
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
