I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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