I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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