bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.