yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
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You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
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I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina