please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history