As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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