i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
