her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
