I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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